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Patterns of Fun
Just like Bob Turner did, Sylvan loves to raise a few laughs, and often writes humorous poetry. At the Scarborough 'Seafest' in July 2009, she read out one of her monologues to a large gathering on the West Pier. It was so well received that she decided to set herself another target.
Sylvan admits, 'I was surprised how easy it was to write a long monologue, and since it had the audience in fits of laughter, I just knew Bob Turner would have been laughing his heavenly socks off. He was like that, always making light of the situation. He even made jokes about being in a wheelchair, responding to my question one day - 'How tall are you?' with the answer, 'Four foot eight!'
'So now, together with another Scarborough poet - Jeremy Huxley Ward, it is my delight to bring you Patterns of Fun - 100 pages that are sure to entertain! For each copy of Patterns of Fun sold, a donation of at least £1.25 will go to Marie Curie Cancer Care.'
Priced at just £4.99 (plus P&P), this book is sure to lighten your mood, no matter what sort of day you've had. So if you love to laugh and help a worthy cause, then place your order today! As a sneek preview, a couple of the poems from Patterns of Fun can be read below.
Should you wish to purchase more copies than this menu offers, or if you wish us to send outside of the UK, please use the Contact the Trust form with your requirements and you will be advised of the charges.
The Bogeyman of Edgar Street |
| Sylvan wrote this verse for her father's 82nd birthday, noting how - even in the 1930s, kids loved to live life in the fast lane! |
| Beware – this little critter is a danger to all those |
| Who dare to cross his path, for he has severed many toes, |
| Knocked flying frail old ladies – their shopping scattered wide, |
| As he outruns the local plod – there’s nowhere safe to hide, |
| When the Bogeyman of Edgar Street is tearing down the alley – |
| Lock your doors! Clear the streets! Beware the Bogey Rally... |
| His sister’s pram was requisitioned, leaving her in tears, |
| And soon his Racing Bogey was arousing many fears. |
| In racing silks, he donned his cap, and with a friend to push |
| He gathered speed, and tore off down the cobbles in a rush... |
| It wasn’t ’til this point that our friend realised his mistake – |
| His Bogey was designed for speed – and so it had no brake! |
| His teeth fair rattled in his head, his rear was black and blue, |
| He overtook a tram – it was the Number Twenty-Two. |
| And swerving hard, he missed a dog, but struck a glancing blow |
| As he tore past the butcher’s bike, with sausages in tow... |
| Wrapped round his Bogey – fifty links of finest pork and beef, |
| While after him the butcher limped, demanding, “Stop that thief!” |
| He wished he could, but knew not how – his Bogey gathered pace |
| As down the hill he rattled in a terrifying race. |
| But our mechanic hadn’t checked to see his nuts were tight... |
| The wheels dropped off – you can be sure, this made him stop all right! |
| You couldn’t truly call our friend a Master of his Craft, |
| But then all Bogeymen are wild, adventurous … and daft! |
| © Sylvan Rose, 2004 |
Reported in the Times Today |
| Yes - this is indeed true... |
| This is not fiction, oh no way |
| It was reported in the Times today |
| A Stateside Christian group put on a Passion Play |
| Portraying the death of Jesus Christ, |
| In a school for little kids, |
| But then their reason went on the skids, |
| It's risible, but far from being funny, |
| For Jesus they substituted the Easter bunny, |
| The luckless rodent was whipped and crucified, |
| History and reason both denied. |
| And now the poor kids have acquired the habit |
| Of believing they worship a crucified rabbit. |
| © Jeremy Huxley Ward |